The Estes Park Golden Mile

My friend, Tyler, and I have been talking about doing a golden mile drinking route sometime. He had planned to visit Colorado this summer, so I got to work on looking into it and decided Estes Park is suitable for a golden mile of twelve alcohol serving establishments. There are plenty of original eating and drinking places peppered on or near the main drag of Elkhorn Avenue. Tyler arrived August 6th and stayed until just this last Monday, the 25th. It took weeks of resourcing information from different mediums, but we planned and successfully executed the Estes Park Golden Mile.

Our idea of the golden mile sprang from “The World’s End” film starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Sadly we didn’t run into any dramatic hazards from their adventure but we did manage to meet some good people along the way. I will now list the official order of the EPGM.

# 1. Estes Park Brewery (It had to be #1. C’mon. Drafts)
# 2. Molly B’s (Micro bar. Bottles)
# 3. Grubsteak (Excellent bar area with natural lighting. Drafts)
# 4. Wapiti Pub (It feels like a basement bar. Drafts)
# 5. Wild Rose (Micro bar. Excellent sandwiches. Bottles)
# 6. Lonigans Pub (Dark old bar. Cozy. Drafts)
# 7. The Wheel Bar (A classic popular bar. Drafts)
# 8. Chelito’s (A top level micro bar overlooking Elkhorn Ave. Drafts)
# 9. Local’s (Micro bar. Good people and great food. Bottles)
#10. La Hacienda (Overlooks Virginia Dr. & Bond Park. Drafts)
#11. Ed’s Cantina (Once a dimly lit steak eatery. Now it’s trendy. Drafts)
#12. Cascades Whiskey Bar (The Stanley Hotel. A “World’s End” class bar.)

This golden mile order was executed Friday August 22, 2014. There is a handful of other notable establishments in the EP area, but they are not part of the EPGM because of distance. I would have possibly included places like Cable’s Pub, Taphouse, Tiki Bar, and even Aspen Lodge or Baldpate Inn if they had met distance requirements or opened when they said they would (Tiki Bar). But these places stand alone as unique as the others. I recommend checking them out.

We began preparation for this feat on the previous day by eating mineral and fiber rich meals with adequate carbohydrates. We also did not have a drop of alcohol that day. Tyler had already been here a couple weeks getting acclimated to the elevation. We had also been drinking a bit every day. This is important to train your body so you won’t get hammered too soon on the day of the golden mile. We also visited an ATM and withdrew the cash for twelve beers and plenty of food. It’s about a hundred dollars; small bills are preferable because you can just throw down and walk.

On the morning of the golden mile we got up early and had smoothies for breakfast. One smoothie consists of: many frozen blueberries, half a banana, 1 egg, 1 scp. Ruby Red powder, 1 scp. SuperGreens powder, 1/2 tsp. cinnamon, 1 tsp. camu camu powder, 1 tbsp. cocoa powder, local honey, then fill with unsweetened almond milk. The Magic Bullet blender and one of their standard containers was used for making this smoothie. Proportions match the container and preference.

Estes Park Discovery Map

This was a nearly perfect beginning for a day of drinking and walking. There is no actual pub guide / map, as I understand it, so this is what we had to work with. It’s kind of odd for a town with more bars than fingers and toes to not have a bar guide, but we made the Estes Park Discovery Map work. After dressing to the nines we grabbed our EPDM and markers then secured a ride to the first location; The Estes Park Brewery.

EPGM Beginning Photo

We arrived at 11:30, just before lunch, and walked right upstairs to the bar. We ordered two pints of the gold; this was our Best of the Rockies “go to” ale for the day. It’s an excellent golden ale on the lower end of bitterness. The rule of the golden mile is to order a pint draft anywhere you can. Otherwise, go with what they got.

The next stop was the Molly B. It’s a modest little bar with a bit of character. They only had bottles but we had another EPB beer. The actual bar area is tiny but it looks nice. The beers went down smooth and we chatted a little bit with the women that were working there. It’s almost like everyone working in Estes Park isn’t from Estes Park. Pleasantly odd.

By now we were getting a bit hungry, so we walked across the street and over the river to Grubsteak. They have a magnificent bar. We ordered a couple of pints of something quite good they had on tap. Seeing as how it’s also a damn fine eatery, we started thumbing through the menu. We intended to order fries and cheese sticks but after informing the bartender of our mission to craft a golden route through town, he proceeded to advise us in properly eating for the task. So we 86’d the frozen cheese sticks, and went with some scotch eggs he was nice enough to inform us about. All I can say is, “YES, HOT DAMN!”. The scotch eggs at Grubsteak are Legendary. Someone knows what they’re doing with those little devils. The small meal had renewed my faith toward the endeavor. We were ready to tackle the remaining establishments.

We walked on up to the Wapiti Pub. I was impressed with their environment. It’s a medium size bar and they seem to rotate the taps through a lot of different brews. We ordered a couple of Golds and that floated the keg, so she brought us those half pints at no charge. We sampled a citrusy beer and decided to go with two pints of that. It was quite busy in there for the time of day, but most of these establishments are original and Estes is a tourism hot spot. I enjoyed the Wapiti. Aside from the other patrons, it feels like a private basement bar.

The next stop was the Wild Rose, and by now we’ve worked up a strong appetite. The picnic food was pleasant at Grubsteak, but I think we were both in need of a meal by now. I ordered a club sandwich and washed it down with a water and a bottle of fine beer. I’m pretty sure Tyler ordered the Reuben, but the best one he’s had was at Local’s the previous day. The Wild Rose is pretty much a dining restaurant, but they have a micro bar, so they qualify.

We crossed the street and walked down to Lonigan’s Pub. If it’s good enough for a bear, it’s good enough for anyone. This bar just bleeds of history. Lonigan’s has that dim hometown pub atmosphere. I like it. It reminds me there are plenty of interesting places to discover. We threw back a couple pints of something and watched as horrific events flashed on televisions. We thought of including Kelli’s Lounge somewhere in the golden mile but everyone kept telling us to keep clear of that place. I guess it’s just for hipsters or young yuppies or something. So we accepted the professional advice and excluded Kelli’s Lounge from the golden mile. Besides, who wants to pay a cover just to have a drink? We didn’t.

Crossing over Moraine Avenue, we ventured down to The Wheel Bar. I can’t say enough about this bar. Every time I’ve visited, it’s been quite populated and last Friday was certainly no exception. I’m not sure but I think we ordered a couple pints of Gold. It didn’t matter, they were gone in short order. We might as well have been drinking acid, we had lead bellies by now. We were just over half way and there was no way we were stopping.

We walked out the south entrance and over the river and across the parking lot toward the Tiki Bar. They had a sign on the door that said they were opening at 5 p.m. They didn’t. It’s just like a small town family business to not open when they say. We gave them ample time, and I even phoned their numbers and left them a message. We eventually said to Hell with them and excluded them from the EPGM. We decided to replace them with Local’s Grill, and I’m glad we did, but I’ll get to that shortly. So we head back up and across Elkhorn Avenue to número ocho, Chelito’s. I like this place. I’ve eaten at Chelito’s thrice before and it’s always been fun. Climbing up to the third floor is a bit of a challenge after seven beers, but taking the elevator would have seemed cheap. We sat outside in the balcony area, but it had just rained earlier so we sat under the eaves of the building. The person tending to our table (I can’t recall now if it was a man or woman) brought out chips and salsa and we ordered our beers. I ordered a Negra Modelo and Tyler may have ordered a Dos Equis. I was feeling just right. I knew at this point, we were going to finish this endeavor. We paid in some form or another and I might have felt a little guilty about chomping on the chips without ordering food, but I think I tipped well.

It was a short walk to Local’s and we we’re doing very well with our time. We were seated in a booth and ordered a couple of their house bottle beer, with mugs. It’s basically the EPB Gold but they put their own label on it. We must have begun getting loud because we attracted the attention of the two young waitresses, Alyssa and Lindsay. I hope I’m spelling their names correctly because there are a few variations on both of their monikers. They were pretty and interested in what we were doing, so we told them about the golden mile we were designing. I don’t recall eating at Local’s that night, but we sampled their menu the previous week during the research phase. I gave them my card with this address, we paid and headed on down the road.

Número diez was La Hacienda. This restaurant & bar overlooks Virginia Dr., with possibly a view of Bond Park, but it was much more happening a place inside than on their balcony at this hour. We sat at a table in the center of the room in front of the bar, surrounded by conversing families and the clanging and scraping of utensils. It was a happy experience. We both ordered large drafts of Dos Equis Amber. I didn’t think it would be “tha big one” but when they arrived, I realized it was a 24 ounce mug of beer. Either way, it was a pleasing experience to slowly empty it. It assisted in making up for the missing 4 ounces from all those previous bottled beers. The sound of people eating in high spirits got me hungry again and I ordered a huge plate of rice. Tyler possibly ordered something that was most certainly dead. I mean, it may have been some sort of meat dish, but I can’t quite recall. The sky was now beginning to actually darken, so we got supercharged about nearing the finish and got up to pay. I attempted to speak in español with an employee about our quest and the golden mile, but I quickly realized he either didn’t care or I was a babbling fool. We exited stage left and proceeded onward.

The walk from La Hacienda to Ed’s Cantina is the second longest walk of the EPGM; the most taxing is the final walk up the hill to the Stanley Hotel. We enter the Cantina and are seated at a table in the bar area. The memory of this place is kind of a blur now, but I’m sure that has something to do with the neon glow lighting, and my contacts probably could have used some hydration. My vision may literally have been blurred. Certainly the eleventh pint I was about to drink had nothing to do with it (ha ha). I don’t know what I ordered but it was probably an IPA because I remember some bitterness, and I do like to try different IPA’s. I remember asking our waitress to help in the marking on the map of the Cantina’s location. I knew where it was but I was really just trying to make her a part of a minor ceremony. It was busy and there wasn’t much time to explain anything, so I abandoned plans for any further conversation. We were periodically marking up the discovery map throughout the day, and it often drew some attention; all good.

The combination of colors, lights and noise in Ed’s Cantina placed me into a haze of wonderment. I felt compelled to finish as early as possible. I called our ride (my parental units) and informed them we were beginning the walk up to the Stanley Hotel. It was just past 8 o’clock and we were going to finish early; we had done very well. I don’t remember crossing the street but we most likely didn’t use a crosswalk. However, I don’t recall much traffic at that time. We burned some time hiking up the street toward the Stanley. It was a majestic sight. It was glowing through its windows and well lit for all to see. It is truly a World’s End class bar. The Stanley Hotel portico is a ranch style entrance of white pillars and railings. The doors open into a foyer of select choices of beautifully finished species of wood. It’s big, but not too big. It’s more cozy than anything else. The Cascades Restaurant and Whiskey Bar is to the left. There are two ladies standing at a thin podium just outside the entrance of our final destination. A look inside tells me this is the most populated bar I’ve seen all day. Perhaps it is just the later hour. I feel like I kind of cheated my way inside because I informed the two ladies we were just wanting to go to the bar for drinks. But upon entering the area there is hardly a manner to even see a bartender, let alone talk to one. We turn around and see a low table that seems to have been recently cleared off. It’s the only empty four-seating table in the area near the bar that can be seen. We shuffle through some elbows and promptly sit down at it. Tyler stayed at the table while I headed out to the foyer to wait for the parental units. I sat back in a plush chair and soaked in the scenery. After some time, the parental units arrived at 8:50 and I ushered them to our table. Tyler and I ordered some pints of our final EPB labeled beer and I also requested a glass of this medium-priced fine whiskey our server recommended. I didn’t think it proper to enter a world class whiskey bar to order a simple beer. We had a good time.

EPGM Ending EPGM Table

Tyler and I did make it up to the fourth floor of the Stanley Hotel after leaving the whiskey bar and I’m pretty sure something weird is going on up there. On the third floor or so, I saw a warped mirror or something like an old mirror at the end of a hall, but it didn’t reflect people, so it may have been a clever painting. I don’t know, I was drunk. As we were leaving out the rear portico to the parking lot, I viewed a couple looking out over the lot from a balcony and talking. We somewhat yelled out to them about the weird happenings of the 4th floor and that the place was haunted. They waved. It was 10:08 p.m. when we climbed into the rover. That concludes the Estes Park Golden Mile. I hope you enjoyed my reporting of this quest, and perhaps you will plan to accomplish it someday.

Estes Park Golden Mile Map

That is what the discovery map looks like now. As you can see it’s a bit tattered by being handled by two drunks for a day. It has also acquired a couple more folds; it was absolutely necessary for the cause. It’s getting framed.

Now for some additional “day after” information. I can’t say enough about quality liquors. The alcohol really took effect upon returning to the cabin. So I drank enough water to drown a dog and repeatedly had to use the lavatory the rest of the night, but I didn’t get sick. At about 4:00 a.m. I awoke to several spinning sensations, so I fumbled my way to the kitchen to eat half a banana and imbibe more water. I rested in the lavatory a bit and went back upstairs to bed. Later that Saturday, I was pretty much useless so I continued sipping water and played some GTA V. Tyler seemed better off than me. I blame Canada.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

The Etheric Note

by J.E. Dion, 01/15/2013

I don’t know where I’m heading anymore or if I ever knew. I’ve lost sight of the path and motivation to progress into lies. I’m not combining these characters correctly, I will increase efforts.

For years I was delusional that I controlled the world with my hopes and dreams, that I guided the will of grand deciders. That sounds ridiculous but buried within I knew this was paramount. I still feel it, though less intense. I believe. No, I don’t know what I believe yet.

I think it’s best to start like this. I have been placed in a constant state of defense. My mind is tasked with observing all the things that steadily kill me. The most damaging substances are consumed. My body is a filter and filters get dirty, they must be cleaned. My thoughts are disorganized because the ringing never subsides. The ringing is the static of the sky; the etheric sound of all things. That high frequency white noise is everywhere. Place yourself in seclusion, away from all things in rhythmic motion and you’ll clearly hear it. The martial law transmitters interrupting progress; it affects us all. We’re helpless to do anything but follow orders from a playbook written decades ago by shielded cave dwellers. The constant bombardment could only be damaging. If my previous belief be true, I will put it out of existence here and now. There can be no ulterior motive. There is no shadow and there are no conspirators seeking to destroy us.

All that is and can ever be is anarchy moderated by force. Government is just an organized and efficient use of force in the presence of anarchy. Government is autonomous. It is the collection of individuals in cooperation to reach goals. Force ensures those goals are met. There can be no other definition. Anarchy is either unobtainable or always true. There can be no state of anarchy for any finite amount of measurement. Government always exists by its own definition. Or defined government is an untruth and simply a group using force to maintain itself in an anarchic environment. These are the words of paradox. Perspective is never properly positioned to realize truth. Having shattered myself from reason momentarily, I see the deception of words. There is only logic but the meanings are incorrect. Words’ definitions are blunt obstacles for true explanation. We can never know the truth of any idea because we are tripping over trust and assumptions.

I’m party to many untruths. I have been a propagandist; as all who express, do so to persuade. Information has many methods but words are just the weapon of the time. A person doesn’t have the truth to say “Thank you” so it’s printed on a piece of paper after your intercourse. They are words of a lie they cannot bear to utter repeatedly. “Thank You. Have A Nice Day” is printed on a receipt for services. An automatic repeated lie. Perspective is important. To disencumber the world of all written untruths would leave libraries desolate and lawyers destitute.

I am disconnected from my origin. I have gone far down a path leading to no interest. And I would be better off chipping slate spearheads in the natural world again. Our trust that words can be true has defiled our natural world and we are a sick people because of it. What many call progress I call misevolution. Misevolution because this was a mistaken path taken on trust and assumptions and led us toward the break from the natural reality that scratches at our smothered feet. We cannot feel the truth beneath us and we cannot see the reality of the cosmos above with all the polished glass in the land. But if we listen calmly, we can hear the etheric hum of all things and it is damaging to the untruths that surround the mind and displace your proper position.

I have made a realization that entity is equal. If material exists it exists because it is perceived. And it is perceived because material exists. So, there is more than just material. Information is conceptual. Untruths transpire without expression. Lies are designed without words. Energy sings without mass. And time is nothing but measurement, without existence, but realized as an immaterial concept. If information ever was, it will always be. It is the etheric hum. I am practiced and it sings to me. Pain isn’t felt, it is remembered. Pain is immaterial; a conceptual information. Bliss can be known by listening calmly to the etheric sound of all things combined. It is the grandest of notes.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

This Days Waking Dream

I was in a building populated by people I had only just met because I arrived earlier that day in their town. It was night now and they had been plotting to murder me because I had killed a friend of theirs in self-defense. I had seen the spirit of my victim once while it was still light but the face was swirled and blurry. It frightened and deeply disturbed me. But then, in the building with the sneaky jackals, I saw the spirit again. It was standing directly next to me uncomfortably close, tall and looking down at me. Its face was blank, nonexistent, but I felt it wasn’t malevolent. I was the only one that could sense the tall spirit and the others were eerily distracted with their indoor pre-homicide hillbilly ho-down sing-a-long. The tall spirit moved outside through the door and I took the hint of this warning and quickly followed. I figured some of the conspirators witnessed me leave but assumed I’d return, thinking I didn’t suspect any treachery.
Outside, the small town road is dimly lit by the partial moonlight and scattered lamps on old telephone poles. The tall spirit is ahead walking toward the street nearest the woods. I catch up to him nearly in a panics’ haste as I’m thinking the jackals may get wise to my escape. But the door to the building remained closed behind me. Now caught up to the spirit; a wolf that I hadn’t noticed trots up from behind, surpasses us and heads for the woods. Right at that moment all became clear, but my remaining bit of logic urged me to ask a question for assurance.
“Is that my lone wolf?” I uttered, not expecting a reply.
I simply wanted to signify that I was learning.
The tall spirit bolts after the wolf which had disappeared into the woods and I followed. They are much faster but as I run to catch up I felt I had changed. Unable to see myself, I assumed I had become as a wolf because I was running on all fours. I enthusiastically darted into the dark woods after my guides, toward what I had just realized was my new family. I was happy upon entering the woods because I discerned my human thoughts were still with me because while running, I thought how dangerous it was to be in the road as a wolf. This is a human thought, but there was no traffic in this small town at night anyway. The woods were comforting to me and I felt very safe. In this new form, I was still slow but excited about learning and catching up to whatever adventure lay ahead.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

The FDA and Solution D

Let’s suppose for a moment the FDA actually banned products that contain harmful substances from being used in Food & Drugs. This task is what they’re presently charged with but that doesn’t explain the myriad of harmful vaccines and pharmaceutical drugs available that are pushed on to everyone. For the remainder of this article, we’ll assume they’re effective at their purpose.

If a nefarious group had an agenda to poison the population with a mass-marketed product, they’d never get approval from the FDA because they’d discover their product was harmful. The group would have to be very sneaky to succeed.

I have a formula that shows the capability of contamination even with a functioning food and drug safety authority.

A + B = D (Combining A plus B equals the Desired effect.)

Compound A = Atmospheric contamination
Compound B = Bodily contamination
Solution D = Disease/Death/Desired Effect

The malicious group would split Solution-D into two parts and place them into separate environments. It could be separated into many pieces but for argument simplicity, we’ll just use the two parts example. Compound A is rendered aerosol and released into the atmosphere somehow, like aircraft chemical trails or more stealthy measures. It is managed and dispersed under a different company than its B counterpart. In fact, Compound A wouldn’t even be under FDA governance because it’s not delivered as a consumable. Compound B could be placed in pesticides, GMO foods, inhalants, food can liners, drugs, vaccines, water, or any other commonly consumed items. Both compound A and B pass inspection because they are supposedly harmless while in their own environments. When the two compounds combine in the body, it creates Solution D and activates cancers, diseases, disorders, fatal toxicities, mutations, or the solution may just sterilize you.

Remember, the FDA may also not consider the effect Solution-D produces as “harmful”. An effect is deemed harmful by interpretation of the definition. So, how do they define harmful? Does their definition include DNA manipulation, mutations, reduced fertility, or other unwanted invisible effects that violate choice? With all the known medications and vaccines that are directly causing illness and death, it’s obvious the FDA isn’t considering our best interests.

The scenario I just explained is by design. You just can’t trust your health to “industry professionals” anymore. Inform yourself and know the facts before you consume what others have classified as “safe”. They only know what they’re told and they only tell what they’re allowed.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

Marsh Creek Incident

Charlie fought his way through the field struggling against the vines wrapping around his ankles. He needed to reach the creek before the marshals entered the clearing. He knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against their rifles in an open field.

Hearing the sound of the rushing water from the creek ahead, he slung open the cylinder on his revolver; empty. A troubling concern struck him. He was in such a rush and didn’t have time to grab a box of .357 magnum shells. I better not get cornered, he thought.

(More to come.)

-Jeremy Edward Dion

Compound 14c

(An impenetrable society)

The badlands haven’t been completely abandoned. There are still a few inhabited outposts. The most popular is Compound 14c. Compound 14c got its name from the giant cargo building sitting against the wall of an east facing cliff. The front of the superstructure has “Building 14c” written in bold print. It is part of an army storage facility that was abandoned after the takeover but weeks before the disaster. The facility design was perfect for travelers and quickly grew into a community. A great river borders its southern edge and curves upward toward the northeast. It is easy to defend from attack because of its natural defenses and is always moderately populated. People travel from across the region because word of this protected community with access to running water was established.

The community laws of Compound 14c are few and simple. The responsibility of enforcing community law is given to the individual because it started as a post by merchants and travelers for trading supplies. Their first law is you must be armed at all times. Even the first merchants encountered on the path inside the main gate are tool dealers and gunsmiths. People can rent weapons for entry if they are so unfortunate to travel without any. The second law is to express equal force. This means that people who harm others can expect such in return. Few matters are escalated to violence because you must be righteous and have the support of the community. People who value their life don’t put themselves in situations where they can lose it. Beyond that, there are ordinances pertaining mostly to trade and property but the primary community laws are referred to as “The Two Laws”. Since the Community’s inception, a couple other outposts have adopted the two law model of Compound 14c.

In the outpost’s beginning there were always people trying to take control over Compound 14c’s community. They would attempt to start town committees with ruling members in the hopes to better “organize” the efforts of the community. They all failed because they wanted to impose more laws and build a source of income for the town to use in its projects. None of these ideas ever took hold because so much was getting done without a committee that it was never justified needing one. In fact, even today, Compound 14c is regarded as one of the safest and most productive communities operating in the badlands. You’re more likely to be shot by sheriffs of the Red Mountain outpost than encounter mortal violence within Compound 14c.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

Lightsaber Technologies

Lightsaber Technologies

The “Intention Recognition Circuit” is the state of the art technology found in our new lightsabers that transform your average training saber into a deadly weapon by thought alone. The color of the beam will change, signifying that the circuit has activated the heating crystals, thus making it a deadly weapon. All previous sabers without this unique color change will soon be illegal for carry. The circuit can be programmed to instantly activate upon detecting the specific emotions of its operator. Current programmable emotions are fear, desperation, righteousness, and a few much needed others. Only those skilled in the practice of controlling ones’ mind and body can utilize our new lightsabers containing this revolutionary design.

Legislature is currently underway to outlaw lightsabers not containing our patented circuitry as they are commonly used by assassins. A cheap but unique and traceable registration will be needed for possession of any older heirloom lightsabers you may have. If you wish to have your existing lightsabers modified with our IR circuit, we will be happy to perform the needed modifications for a fee.

Because of the amount of mental focus involved to properly and justly wield these new lightsabers, it has been said that one who carries such device is a Judicially Educated Diplomat of Intent. We at Lightsaber Technologies just call them Jedi.

-Jeremy Edward DIon