Ecuador is Better

Returning from Paradise:
I returned from Ecuador the night of April 13 after a four hour flight and a long yet entertaining drive from Miami to Conway. Returning to the states is kind of a shock after such a vacation. As soon as I stepped into the Miami airport, I was bombarded by the overwhelming sterile scent of chlorine and other chemicals. It’s quite disgusting and sickening. I’m certain it can’t be healthy. I’d really prefer to return to the beautiful Ecuadorian mountain town of Cuenca ASAP before I contract cancer from this mess. When you experience all the natural foods and health benefits of living without the bullshit, regulations and fear mongering; an amazing thing happens to your world perspective. America is shit. I started to examine this possibility far earlier, which is why I began looking for residence elsewhere, but it is conclusive now. I see more bullshit every day in the USA than I saw in my twenty-four days enjoying Ecuador. I’ll always like the idea of America or what history tells us it was like, but it can only go forward from here.

Bathrooms, Dogs and Trash:
Ecuador does have its problems. Bathrooms, dogs and trash seem to be a little outside their current grasp of control. The bathrooms are very dirty and toilet paper is scarce. Locals will even go into bathrooms and remove the toilet paper and sell squares of it to unsuspecting individuals. They’re certainly not sanitary conscious people because they dispose of their used paper in a wastebasket next to each toilet. I haven’t figured that out yet but perhaps the stray dog issue has something to do with it. There are dogs all over and they get into the trash that is hung outside the domiciles at eye level so the garbage men can see to collect it. This is a real eyesore and creates quite a mess when the dogs tear into it seeking the shit-stained ass paper. Or is the shitty ass paper placed in with the regular garbage to deter the dogs from tearing into it? That would be effectively marking your garbage with feces. Aren’t dogs supposed to respect another’s feces and steer clear or does that just work for urine? Well, I don’t know, dogs eat cat shit though. Needless to say, I didn’t participate in any experiments to mark my garbage with fecal matter and the dogs tore into it after the second time putting it out because our garbage-can was appropriated by someone realizing the genius of what one’s used for. I don’t blame them really; I’d want my bathroom to stop smelling like shit too. It is very amusing how the three top annoying issues in Ecuador are connected.

Ecuador Pictures:
I snapped 240 photos with my Canon EOS Elan 7 35mm on this trip but I’m waiting to pick them up from the developer because it’s going to cost me a chunk of cash. I’ll make the good ones available the first chance I get.

Some Basic Economics:
Less regulation and taxes equals increased liberty and opportunities. I’ve seen the effect of this first hand in Ecuador. So, why the hell would I want to live in the US if I’m not a greedy boot-licking bottom-feeder looking for a handout from a socialist program? You can’t even operate a small US business without filing twelve damn forms and paying more money than you’d net in three months to people that don’t lift a finger, except to redistribute your earnings to bums that subvert the system and buy drugs with it. So, why support a program that takes from the honest to give to the dishonest? We’re all supposed to be fair and nice and fucking share? Screw that. I can be fair and nice but I’m not mandatorily sharing. I’ll share if I can spare it, damn it.

A Thorough Political Rant:
I recommend a straight up boycott of all taxation through and through. Capitol Hill isn’t listening anyway and we’re heading toward another undeclared war for X number of years with a president that directly lied to all those dipshit-liberal-lemmings (DLL’s), and they ate it up. What the fuck were they thinking!? “Oh! He’s black and he’s so charismatic; he’s going to fix America.” He’s just another damned politician and all you saps got shit on by him and every other dishonorable lying bastard before him, I bet. Alan Keyes didn’t get the presidential votes because he’s an individual that won’t just say whatever to get elected. (Not that voting actually decides our presidency anyway.) Obama said what he needed to get popularly elected; now he does what he is told so he won’t get killed. That’s how their game is played. And all you fuck-heads campaigning for Obama-2012 are genuinely lacking in the critical thinking skills. Personally, I blame Facebook’s Chris Hughes and that ridiculous idiotic sub-culture of fake green-earth new-age fairy fucks. You know; the ones that are preachy during campaigns about new technologies and how it can be used for a cleaner world and education, but after the fact, everyone realizes it makes zero impact but someone’s wallet got fatter. It’s called “observing the trend”, people. Trends are charted by predators looking to fleece the sheeple. That’s pretty much business as usual; lies, lies, and lies. I guess most Americans can still afford to be that naïve but I’d rather not pay the price. I’m getting out.

-Jeremy Edward Dion

Writing for Children

Often, people that don’t know how to write, write children’s books because children don’t know how to read.
For example, here is a short tale about creepy crawlies:

And a recluse gets killed by a reclusive spider brown bagging it on the way to the first day of school. The world was big and bright and all things were new. One couldn’t read signs on the path so it ended up lost in its shoes. The meaning is simple and the riddle, true. No one saw the creeping crippler crawling to chew. By the time it’s found, it’s black and blue and not a spot is left that is new. All things done and settled in, the reclusive returns creepily crawling to chew.

-Jeremy Edward Dion