Zombie Inoculation

I’d like to start seeing some talk about Zombie vaccinations.  We wouldn’t fair too well against a zombie epidemic without preparations.  I propose we start working on a serum for inoculating people before the outbreak begins.  Of course, we’re all prepared for killing the zombies.  We got our shotguns, rifles, pistols, crossbows, clubs, and blades; but there isn’t much talk of prevention or solving the problem.  We need to build antibodies to ward off the infectious zombie plague.  When we die, we must remain dead.  We should begin immunization before it starts.  There are always going to be moments when fighting will become too tiresome and barricading may not be possible.  I think it’s best to focus on vaccinating now to lower the amount of wet work we’ll have to do later.

I’ve heard of experiments to create nanomachines that upon detection of prolonged heart failure they attack and erode your brain stem.  While this is a brilliant method for immobilizing a reanimated corpse, it doesn’t solve the core issue of protecting people from infection.  The blast collars or “pop collars” attack the same issue; upon heart failure the head is severed from the body by a series of small directional blasts.  While a crude but very effective method of protecting others from your zombie wrath, it’s very difficult to convince people to walk around wearing explosive charges.  Besides, it’s hard to distribute such expensive technologies when a cheap shotgun blast to the head will suffice.

I’m helping to start an organization, apply for grants, and raise funds for research toward producing a serum against the viral zombie strain.  I believe we could build an efficient network of facilities that can quickly mobilize and deliver these vaccines upon fear of a zombie outbreak.  Remember, the number one cause of death in a zombie pandemic is infection.  We all think we know how we’d survive such a horrible event, but it’s currently our duty to focus on prevention and maintaining a natural death process.  It is my dream to ensure that the dead shall never rise; and with your support, we can keep our afterlife peaceful.

-Jeremy Edward Dion


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